


Party Predicament

by SucculentStrawberries



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Culture, Alien Planet, Awkward situations, Desperation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, I am accidentally invested in Churwagjhlsnop, Implied Femslash, Minor Original Character(s), Omorashi, One Shot, Pre-Femslash, Pre-Relationship, Public Humiliation, Self-Indulgent, Single Chapter, Sonic Screwdriver, Wetting, do not take this planet seriously lol, gratuitous worldbuilding for a cheap omo fic, i got carried away with the extra stuff instead of piss, seriously this entire fic is self indulgent bs with dumb plot device cultural rules, they are my oc now oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 12:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentStrawberries/pseuds/SucculentStrawberries
Summary: Today is the birthday of an old friend, and Yaz is pleased to tag along as The Doctor's plus-one. This is an opportunity for many new experiences with a different culture, although she soon finds herself caught by one of the drawbacks The Doctor failed to mention...





	Party Predicament

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still working on those drafts focusing on 13, but until I finish those, have a really self-indulgent Yaz oneshot because I can't let The Doctor hog all of the omo fics. I might have gotten a bit too invested in the planet and aliens I invented oops, there's a lot of extra story bits and conversations about The Doctor's past adventures with them I had to cut. I might make some other fics with those concepts sometime.
> 
> Don't take any of this too seriously, it really is just a cheap excuse for omo that I chipped away at while I was bored haha
> 
> Also quick announcement, I now have a Dreamwidth account, which I'll be using now that Tumblr is collapsing! I'm really looking forward to a more moderated, forum-oriented blogging experience, the userbase seems much more accepting and mature! If you'd like to keep up with me there, the name is smooch_sloth! I'm still shifting my old fics over there and figuring out how to set everything up, but I do plan to drop extra trivia, previews for fics, maybe take occasional requests, and general rambling there, and I'd love to meet new people (please teach me how DW works I am struggling oof) ! It'll probably stay a mostly nsfw account to keep things organized (I have way too many interests so I'd have to make a separate for general stuff), but it'll be more than just omorashi, and I've already started working on drafts to fill some kink memes!

"How are you two feeling? Would you like me to get you some more soup? Or more blankets?"   
  
Whatever Graham was about to say was interrupted with an awful sneezing fit, and Ryan spoke up from his cocoon on one side of the couch once the noise had died down, although his voice was hushed from his clogged nose. "We'll be alright, Doctor. Go have fun."   
  
"Are you sure? I feel bit bad, leaving you both here like this!"   
  
"Doc, you've been fussing over us like a mother hen since yesterday! Get Yaz out of this-" Another sneeze echoed around the ship as he buried his reddened nose in a tissue. "-this blasted ship, before she catches it! We can tough it out, you've spoiled us rotten as it is! If we get worse, we can hobble down to the medical bay, right?"   
  
The Doctor straightened the red and black bowtie she'd added to her usual ensemble, brows furrowed. "Yes, the TARDIS will take care of you once you lie down on one of the cots. Scans, treatment suggestions, if your vitals are in the red she'll alert me..."   
  
"See? Nothin' to worry about then, is there? Just a cold from our last adventure, we'll be alright!" Graham fixed her with a firm stare. "Buzz off now, or you two'll be late!"   
  
"Bring us back some cake!" Ryan added, grinning. "That'll be the best medicine, Doctor!"   
  
"Okay, but if anything happens, I'm coming straight back!" And with that, The Doctor _finally_ joined her at the doorway, where she'd been leaning for the last  _thirty minutes._ Per the woman's advice, she'd kept her typical adventuring outfit and leather jacket, accessorized with an intricate golden necklace with a sun pendant that The Doctor had loaned her. The event they were going to was Formal Wear, but apparently that only really counted for clothing worn around the neck. When she'd asked why, The Doctor had only said 'You'll see' before bustling back out of the room to check on the boys.    
  
"Aren't you forgetting something?" She couldn't help chuckling, raising an eyebrow at the blonde's empty hands. The look of panic that followed her question was just as amusing.   
  
"Oh! Yes, uh, where did I-I just had it!"   
  
"On the table!" Ryan called, pulling an arm out of his warm blanket nest to point towards the object sitting next to a pyramid of fresh tissue boxes.   
  
"Right! Thanks!" The Doctor scrambled back to retrieve the parcel, and then headed back towards Yaz, tucking her hair back into place with one hand as they started to walk out of the ship. "Can't believe I almost forgot this bloody thing! I spent all night wrapping it!"   
  
"Trouble with the paper?" she murmured, stepping out into the light of a single, tiny sun. As her feet hit the ground, a slight twinge ran through her body, and she found herself thinking that  _maybe_ she should have thought to use the restroom during all of the time she'd been waiting on The Doctor. But she sure wasn't about to double back. They were cutting it close as it was. It wasn't urgent anyways, she could always just go at the party.   
  
"Trouble bending physics, actually. Nearly thought I'd break my Sonic trying to cram it into the void." The Doctor scoffed, dropping the information in that casual way that most of the team had given up trying to understand. Follow up inquiries usually only left more questions than answers, they'd discovered. True, their intergalactic tour guide was usually more than willing to ramble on and indulge them, but it had become clear that there were some things that could only make sense if you'd experienced them firsthand, over as many lives as she had.   
  
She tried not to look too amused. "So, do you go to parties often?"   
  
"Not usually, spare a few holidays if I happen to be around. Or a rowdy little get-together in Massachusetts. Biggest waste of tea, that one." The Doctor shrugged. "But this is an old friend of mine's birthday, and since I've had to raincheck on the last few, I figured I owe them a little visit!"    
  
"That's nice. How old are they turning?"   
  
"It's their tri-centennial, actually! Big occasion, _very big!"_ The Doctor grinned, bouncing on her heels a little. "Oh, I can't wait to see them! Last letter I read, they've got a whole family now! They actually asked me to be a godparent once!"   
  
"Wow, really? That's wonderful!"   
  
"Yeah! I mean, I had to turn it down, of course. Constantly wandering around and popping in and out of different years doesn't make me the most  _reliable_ to get ahold of, and I don't think I'm cut out for raising kids." The Doctor chuckled, shrugging. "But it's a nice sentiment!"   
  
"So, where exactly are we going? I don't really see anything around here." From what it looked like, they were just standing in a big pink field of grass. Or, whatever the squiggly, shimmery equivalent of grass was. "I thought you said the party was going to be in a palace."   
  
"Oh, it is! But for once, I thought it'd be worth it to park out of the way like a decent person instead of popping into the middle of a building."   
  
She was quite sure, judging by the grin still sitting on her escort's face, that her decision was not because she'd suddenly developed actual social skills for acceptable, non-ridiculous Timelord behavior. But it probably wasn't going to do her any good to call the woman out on it. So instead she just nodded. "So we're walking then?"   
  
"Nope! Well,  _technically_ yes, for a few steps, but-  _ohhh,_ I don't want to spoil it!" The Doctor ceased the bit of pacing she'd started while she was debating an answer, instead snatching her hand and starting to take off at a half jog. "You'll see, Yaz! Come on!"   
  
Stumbling after The Doctor until she managed to match her pace, they ran together through the glittering plant-things until they began climbing up a slope. The plants slowly receded as they moved higher, reaching her ankles and then disappearing to make way for a bright purple clearing at they stood at the top of the hill. They were both panting as they caught their breath, strange, fresh smells filling the air. They reminded her of laundry detergent, actually, the kind that didn't actually smell like any kind of flowers, but pleasant nonetheless.    
  
While she was sucking in a few lungfuls, The Doctor released her hand and stepped towards the center of the hill, where a flat golden disk sat on the ground. Pulling the paper letter out of her ever-crowded jacket pocket, she set it on the disk, and the object flashed, scanning it. There was a soft pinging noise, and as The Doctor retrieved the letter, the disk shot golden light up into the sky in a brilliant column.   
  
"What is that? Some sort of beacon?"   
  
The Doctor only chuckled, giving her yet another cryptic 'You'll see...' as she took her hand again, pulling her back towards the edge of the hill. They stood there, staring at the shimmering light, until a new sound broke the silence. Soft, but powerful beats, rhythmic and coming closer. Before she had a chance to look around, a shadow blocked out the sunlight, rushing past her and circling the hill. When she looked up again, whatever breath she'd tried to find vanished.   
  
There, hovering in the air before them, were two brilliant white horses. With wings. Massive, angelic wings, haloed by the golden light behind them, and a shimmering carriage strapped behind them, held in the air by their strength alone, and the bejeweled trappings adorning their bridles and saddles.    
  
"Those are... are those...?"   
  
"Pegasi? Yes, yes they are." The Doctor murmured, a grin nearly splitting her face, no doubt from the amusement of seeing how awestruck she was. The creatures landed with grace, not making a sound despite the great weight they were saddled with. They stood taller than draft horses by a couple of hands, and she had to crane her neck to look into their brilliant eyes as The Doctor kept talking. "They're here to take us to the party. My friend rented them to transport all the guests. Extravagant as always."   
  
"I see why you didn't want to take the TARDIS..."   
  
"Well, shall we hop in? Ladies fir-er,  _you_ first." The Doctor corrected in the middle of her bow, holding open the carriage door, adorned with pink and golden trappings. The inside of the carriage was equally luxurious, with pure white cushioned seats on both sides, and windows decorated with white curtains. She nearly sank into the seat when she sat down.   
  
"What's this made of? Down feathers?"   
  
"Actually, yes! Pegasi molt their softest feathers quite often, about once a month, so the company recycles them into the seating. It's a very efficient system. Ooh, look out the window! We're about to take off!"   
  
She shifted closer to the side, pulling back the curtain to stare at the field around them. Sure enough, it was beginning to move as hooves galloped along, and then began drifting away as the sound was replaced with steady wingbeats. As they ascended, the ground became a stunning landscape of different hues of pink, interrupted by a few different hills like the one they had been on. "They're bullseyes!" she gasped, now able to see the clear rings of purple and golden centers.   
  
"Yeah, those are the landing points. Think of them like bus stops. They're made of their favourite flowers too, so they can graze between rides while they wait for passengers. Pretty, aren't they?"   
  
"Yeah, this whole place is beautiful..." Magical, almost, and she found a grin tugging at her lips as they climbed higher, soon reaching the clouds. The field was disappearing to give way to a massive city, although not like the kind back home. Instead of tall metal buildings and clutter, it was more organic, the buildings taking all sorts of forms, with swirling slides connecting some of them. The ground below glittered in all sorts of twisting pathways, although it was too far for her to make out what the inhabitants looked like. Still, everything seemed very clean and comfortable, if a bit glitzy.    
  
"Ooh,  _look look look!"_ The Doctor gasped, reaching over to tap her arm and point out the other window. "There it is!"   
  
She followed the woman's gaze to stare at a shimmering palace, set towards the back of the city and towering over the buildings. There wasn't much in front besides the massive tiled walkway (a strip for the carriages to land, presumably), but a intricate maze garden took over the land for ages behind it, and the palace itself had several balconies and spires stretching up and around it.    
  
"Is your friend the ruler of this place or something?"   
  
"Oh no, haha! The ruler actually doesn't like me very much. I caused a bit of trouble the first time I came here, you know, as I tend to do. My friend's just...  _obscenely_ rich. This is their summer home."   
  
Before they could discuss much more, the carriage began to descend, and soon they found themselves stepping out to head towards the front doors, pausing only to watch the pegasi whinny and fly away. As they reached the entrance, they came face to face with an orange mass of goo about their own size. The only article of clothing was around its neck, a white collar and black bowtie with a red gem in the center of the bow. The mouth on top of its head began to speak. "Ah, The Doctor, I presume? Who is with you?"   
  
"I brought a plus-one along, I hope that's alright. Her name is Yaz."   
  
"Very well. I shall add her to the guest list. Hold still, please." One tendril of goo shifted to press the gem on the bowtie, and it began to emit a scanning light, washing over her for a few seconds before it went out again. "Alright, she has been added to the list. Welcome, Madame Yaz. You two will find the gala down the hall and on the second right turn. Have a pleasant evening." The creature squished itself into what she assumed was a bow, and then the doors opened inwards, revealing a long hallway.   
  
She followed The Doctor through the halls, slowing her stride every so often to admire the details. Painted portraits started halfway up walls and bent at a right angle to stretch over the ceilings, or halfway down to run along the floor where she had to step around them, almost reminding her of that old piece on Earth with the melting clocks. Strange plants in shades of blue and red twisted and writhed on trellises overhead, and the walls were lit with some sort of chandeliers sticking outwards, unlike any crystals she'd ever seen.   
  
"Are those electric, or do they make their own light?"    
  
"A bit of both, actually. _Fascinating_ process, I've got a whole documentary about it back on the ship. Oh, but here's our turn!"    
  
Sure enough, the second right led them towards what was probably one of the largest rooms in this place. The ceilings rose upwards into a pointed dome, and the whole way down was decorated in extravagant banners, ribbons and glittering objects hanging around. The tile floor was smooth, shimmering in a rainbow of different pastels, each blending into the next and gliding across the floor in waves. Most of the furniture had been cleared to make room for the guests, but to one wall she could see a long table lined with gifts of all different shapes and sizes, as well as a single throne for the recipient.   
  
In contrast to the elegance of everything else though, there was one thing that definitely felt out of place as they stepped inside.

"The room is pulsing!" she gasped, not entirely sure how loud her voice was compared to the noise filling her ears. The Doctor leaned closer to answer, a delighted grin on her face.  
  
"I know, that's their music!"  
  
"It's like a mix of dubstep and Ryan's rap!"  
  
"Oh, no, this is different! Very sophisticated, the equivalent of opera!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah! The TARDIS can't translate it as well as speech, since music's a bit more subjective, but trust me, to them it's beautiful!"  
  
Well, it wasn't exactly her taste, but who was she to judge? Following The Doctor's lead, they arrived at a wall of crystal fountains, each reflecting the light from the floor into the liquid flowing through them. There were some bejeweled goblets stacked into a pyramid next to them, and she filled one alongside her escort, waiting until the other woman took a sip before she dared try it herself.  
  
The punch is strange, to say the least. Like every sugary candy in the world mixed together and melted, but with buttered popcorn and a pastry thrown in. Okay, so it didn't sound appetizing when you separated the flavours like that, but somehow it was actually _good._ Draining her cup and letting the aftertaste linger for a moment, she glanced at The Doctor. "Does this have alcohol or anything in it?" The last thing she wanted was to turn into some kind of stumbling drunk and embarrass herself during her first alien party. She and the boys had already gotten into trouble once a while back when they'd made the mistake of eating an entire rum cake that was _literally_ rum, in cake form. The poor Doctor had had to drag them all out of that moon bakery.  
  
"Oh, no, it's completely clean. Like juice, really. Help yourself if you'd like." Nodding, she found herself refilling her goblet before she ambled through the room, still taking in the strange architecture and partygoers as she sipped idly. Dimly, she did notice the twinge in her abdomen, and briefly considered stepping out for a moment. But she'd just gotten here, she didn't want to leave right away! Not at least until she could see what all of the fuss was about and get more comfortable in this place.   
  
"So, are they all the same species here?"   
  
"Yep! They don't see other kinds much, so they might be extra curious about you. Don't be shy though, they're all quite nice!"  
  
"Do you mind if I go off on my own for a bit?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, that's fine! I've got to drop this present off and find my friend and the kids anyways! Join me whenever you'd like." And with that, The Doctor slid back through the crowd, already flagging down a few of the ooze creatures she apparently recognized. She shrugged, taking another sip of her punch and glancing around as she started walking in the other direction.   
  
True, she could have stayed with The Doctor, but the team already had a habit of clinging to her during missions. The Timelord deserved an hour or so to herself without constantly stopping to answer questions about everything they didn't know. It wasn't like this was high school, and she was a wallflower shadowing the only person she knew. She was capable, and confident, and this place seemed welcoming enough. She'd be fine meandering by herself for a while.

~~~  
  
And so she'd found herself drifting from group to group, listening in on conversations and occasionally dropping her own perspective, or answering questions about her own life and home. Right now, she was just listening to a pink blob named Shafipiny talk about the many, _many_ necklaces she had wrapped around the ooze, as well as compliment the necklace around her own neck. She was pleasant enough, if a bit snooty and long-winded, and she found herself a smidge grateful when the creature finally bid her farewell to go speak to some of her own kind. She'd been stuck standing here for at least twenty minutes straight, not counting the hour of walking around and talking to everyone else beforehand, and her legs were definitely getting stiff. Her throat had also grown dry despite the constant sips of her drink. Maybe she could just find somewhere to sit down for a bit, watch from the sidelines and rest, then join up with The Doctor again.   
  
As she stepped away from the extravagantly dressed creature, she flinched and nibbled her lip for a second, feeling a distinctly sharper pressure in her bladder now that she'd started moving again. Alright, so she might have been putting that off for longer than necessary. As fascinating as these conversations were, she'd enjoy them more if she could concentrate and stand still. Passing her empty goblet off to one of the butlers as they slithered by, she made her way through the room towards the hall they'd come through, glancing around. She could go left to explore some of the corridors they'd passed on the way in, or take another right and head deeper in.  
  
Deeper in sounded like a better bet.   
  
And so she strode through the halls, stopping every so often to observe anything that caught her eye, and relishing the quiet of her own footsteps compared to the noise she'd been subjected to. After a good fifteen minutes of exploring though, the pressure in her abdomen seemed to shift into a steady pulse, and she found her interest in her surroundings waning. She'd passed several bedrooms, a few libraries, a crystal display room, and some strange cocoons (for the children to rest in, perhaps?), but nothing remotely resembling any sort of restroom, not even a drain in the floor. _I have to be getting close though, right?_ Trying to be optimistic, she took the next right she saw, leading to a single door and another hallway branching off.  
  
Opening the door only brought her towards what seemed to be a study, and she grimaced, shutting the door back. For goodness' sake, this palace stretched on for _ages._ There was a whole _maze_ of hallways to go, not to mention the other floors above them. While she liked being independent, this wasn't a situation she had the patience for, and the last thing she needed was to get lost in this place. The jabbing in her abdomen sharpened in agreement, and she cringed, turning around and trying not to look bothered as she retraced her steps to the party room. It seemed to be an even longer walk going back than it had been coming, and by the time she heard the music again she had to _concentrate_ on walking normally.  
  
It wasn't like this was an _emergency_ though, even if it was embarrassing. As soon as she asked her escort for directions, she could take care of things and go back to enjoying the festivities. Scanning the crowd, she finally spotted the woman she was looking for, striding over to tap her shoulder.

"Doctor?" 

"Oh, Yaz! I'd like you to meet the birthday blob! This is Churwagjhlsnop!"

"Oh, um, nice to meet you..." Yeah, she wasn't sure she could pronounce that without butchering it. Maybe if she had more time to clarify, but definitely not while her attention was so focused on her own problem. Instead, she forced a smile, hoping her extra enthusiastic "Happy birthday!" made up for it. The massive creature jiggled a couple of times, both gaping mouths open in what she assumed were smiles. Before it could reply, she turned to The Doctor. "Sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow you for a moment?"

"Of course." A smile tugged at the blonde's lips, and she turned to wave at the blob. "You'll have to excuse me for a bit, Churwagjhlsnop, but I'll be sure to catch up later! If you end up opening gifts before I'm back, mine's the one with the best wrapping!" Winking at the jiggly creature, she turned to slip through the crowds, finally pausing in a quieter section in the shadow of the grand staircase. Well, grand slide. Ooze creatures didn't really need stairs, apparently.

"Good bloke, that one! We've had some wild times, I'm glad to see they've still got it! Oh, you'll be thrilled at their toast, Yaz! Does a great comedy bit, it'll have you rolling on the floor halfway through din-"

"Doctor!" It came out as a bit more of a hiss than she'd meant it to, but it was difficult to control her impatience when the woman was rambling on. Luckily, her friend didn't seem too offended, simply dipping her head in apology and returning her focus to her.

"Right, sorry! What did you need me for?"

"Um, it's nothing important, really, I just..." Lacing her fingers together, she swallowed her hesitation. "Would you happen to know where the restroom is?"

"Hmm? Oh, uh..." Now it was The Doctor's turn to pause for a second, staring her up and down. "How badly do you need it?"

"What?"

"Could it wait until after the party?"

"Um..." Why did it matter how urgent it was? She could feel her cheeks heating up, and she tried to ignore the strangely parental tone the second question carried. The Doctor may be old, but it shouldn't feel like she was a kid interrupting her mother at some important gathering. "I... It's kind of uncomfortable. I-I mean, I guess it can wait, assuming the party doesn't take all night, but-"

"No, the party's going to be going for _hours._ " The Doctor interrupted, pursing her lips in thought. "Oh, I _really_ should have thought of this... I _can't believe_ I forgot to mention it!" 

"Mention what?"

"Well... the species on this planet don't really... _you know._ " The Doctor mumbled, gesturing vaguely with her hands in a way that definitely wouldn't have won any game of Charades. When she raised an eyebrow and shook her head, the blonde groaned. "I mean, they don't _expel waste._ Well, they _do,_ actually, but it's in a gaseous form and the particles rise up through the pores of their bodies, that's why they're so loose and plasma-like, but obviously that isn't the same."

"So they don't use the restroom..."

"Correct, at least not in the way you or I do! So, um, this planet typically doesn't get many foreigners, so they haven't had much of a reason to invest in building any appropriate structures, and it is a _very_ clean planet so it would _definitely_ be looked down upon if you go outside somewhere. Trust me, I made that mistake once. Funny story actually, Churwagjhlsnop'd love to tell you sometime, I'm sure."

"So I'm screwed?"

"Um... well, last I've read in the news, there _has_ been a push to put at least a couple of portables in certain areas or to put in your homes, just for the rare tourists that drop in for shopping or to visit friends... but we're the only guests here from off-planet, and I was technically the only one _invited,_ so I doubt they have anything prepared since I don't, well, go as often. My bad, Yaz! I have a tendency to forget these things aren't common knowledge... and I _probably_ should've let them know I was bringing humans along. Just hang in there for a moment, I'll see what we can do!"

The Doctor gave her a pat on the back and strode back through the room, flagging down a massive black blob. She bit her lip, slowly letting one leg cross over the other, and held it there during the several minutes of watching the two speaking back and forth. Towards the end, the big blob started pantomiming, opening and closing the mouths in a pattern and wiggling around. Finally, The Doctor bowed and headed over, and she hurried to resume a more casual position, letting her legs part and leaning against the rail behind her.

"Any luck?" she asked, hoping her voice sounded casual enough.

"Alright, um, so there's good news and bad news." The Doctor started, wincing when she immediately groaned. "Bad news is there definitely aren't any facilities here in the palace. Good news is there's one that was recently installed next to the public library! But it's, um, a bit of a walk..."

"How far?"

"Around forty minutes."

"Is the TARDIS closer? We got here pretty quickly."

"That was because pegasi are exceptionally swift flyers. But they won't be sent back until the end of the night to take everyone home, and it would be two hours by foot. No one here brought any transport since they all rode those, so we can't bum a ride off of the guests." The Doctor ran a hand through her hair, looking at her with much more pity than she wanted at the moment. "I'm _really_ sorry, I should have thought to bring something, like an empty bottle or a towel, or maybe-"

"It's fine, let's just get walking..." she murmured, trying to cut the woman off before she mentioned any more embarrassing solutions.

_Forty_ minutes. She'd already been cringing at the thought of the ten it would have taken to follow The Doctor to the restroom when she'd asked. But it wasn't like she had much of a choice. Sticking close, the two of them weaved through the crowds, and she grimaced as they passed the wall of punch fountains again. The trickling made her bladder throb so urgently she actually hunched a little as they walked. _This is really,_ ** _really_** _bad!_ She could hear every droplet sprinkle and splash into the rainbow pool, and even though she tried to look away, she could picture the streams so clearly.

"Yaz, _don't!"_ She flinched at the sudden hiss in her ear, The Doctor reaching to snatch her lowered wrist so that they were hand-in-hand as they walked. "Touching those areas is seen as a crude offense here! On par with public-nudity, you'll get arrested!"

"What? But I've got clothes on!"

"They're very proper! And keep in mind they don't really... have our forms. The only knowledge they have are dirty magazines and such that have been imported!"  
  
"Alright, alright!" she hissed, snatching her hand back and leaving it at her side. It was embarrassing enough that she'd even been caught trying to cup herself in the first place, but it felt even worse now that she knew she couldn't. Not that she really _needed_ _to,_ of course, but it would have made her journey slightly more comfortable as they slipped back out the doors and into the warm afternoon air.  
  
~~~  
  
Alright, so that was a lie. She actually really, _really_ needed to cup herself.   
  
They'd been walking for a grand total of fifteen minutes, but it _felt_ like thirty, and every step along the way had been torture on her bladder. Without the distraction of the party around them, all she could focus on was the gaudy golden sidewalk under her feet, the warped image of her own uncomfortable expression reflected back at her, and the constant throbbing between her legs. The knowledge that relief was so far away was making it so much worse than when she'd thought it was just hidden away in the palace somewhere. It distinctly reminded her of how she could chug however much she wanted at home and have been fine for hours, but if she'd drunk half that and a teacher denied her permission to leave back in school she'd been dying by the time class let out _and_ _oh that thought really wasn't helping at all._  
  
The Doctor must have caught the whimper she'd tried to bite back, because the woman immediately turned around to stare at her while walking backwards, slowing her pace slightly. "How are you holding up, Yaz? We've made good progress, haven't we?" she added, trying for a half-smile that was probably intended for comfort, but failed to offer any.  
  
"I'm about as okay as I _can_ be in a situation like this." she murmured, feeling a wave of self-consciousness wash over her as they passed a trio of less well-dressed blobs that seemed to cock their heads, muttering to each other and openly staring (or whatever the equivalent was without eyes).  
  
The Doctor's gaze followed them for a moment. "They don't mean any judgement, they were just curious about us. Can't really blame them." Her eyes switched back to her then, a gentleness to them. "Try to hang in there, we'll be there soon. I don't advise stopping for too long, since that would be sort of counter-productive, but if you need to, just tell me, alright? Whatever we can do to make you more comfortable."  
  
Like anything would _possibly_ be able to make her comfortable except for the thing that was still about a half hour away. Still, she didn't want The Doctor to pick up on any of her resentment, especially when she was trying so hard to help, so she just nodded, casting her the briefest smile she could manage before she let her gaze refocus on the pavement. The Doctor eventually turned back around to walk normally, even picking up the pace slightly. She was grateful for that.  
  
Well, she was grateful for about five more minutes, until she was forced to start keeping her legs further apart to keep up with The Doctor's strides. The pulses grew stronger and angrier with every step, and she finally had to gasp out for her escort to stop, her hands almost flying to her crotch before she caught herself and let them rest on her bent knees instead. Squeezing her thighs together and half hunching over, she tried to catch her breath and ignore the desperate waves running through her abdomen. That wasn't enough to ease the discomfort, so she straightened up and crossed her legs instead, rubbing them against each other with a soft moan. She could almost picture the rest of the punch she'd drunk earlier trickling down in there, just to make it worse than it already was.   
  
"Would it help if I talked more while we walked? To distract you?" The Doctor offered, one jacket-clad arm limp at her side, the other rubbing it anxiously.   
  
 _Nothing_ was going to distract her at this point. It was a constant alarm bell now, her mind and body both _begging her_ every time they passed a shady corner of a building or some type of vegetation. Unfortunately, they'd also reached a busy street by now, and she was being scrutinized by every citizen who shuffled by, her nerves only adding to the twisting in her stomach.  
  
"I don't think I can talk right now..." she admitted, forcing herself to start walking again. What she needed now was to focus on her mission, and nothing else.  
  
"Of course..." The guilt was apparent in the woman's grimace, and she almost felt worse for putting The Doctor through this than for what she was actually struggling with. There was honestly nothing her friend could do to help her right now, and she was sure that killed the being who's _entire purpose_ seemed to be for helping others.   
  
They kept walking in silence, her pace forced to slow as she kept her thighs as close together as she could, the fabric of her jeans rubbing against her in a way that didn't really do much besides frustrate her. They were far too tight right now, and she was wincing with every breath as the waistband cut into her. Why hadn't she just gone back on the ship? Or not drunk so much punch, or-  
  
 _Thinking about the past isn't going to help anything. Focus on the present. Not the goal, but pushing through the problem right now._  
  
That was growing increasingly difficult though, and with every few blocks they passed she found her confidence wavering, pain pulsing through her until she could hardly stand it, and then increasing. Her heart was pounding with mounting anxiety, and she tried not to look at the creatures they were walking past. _I can't lose it here. Not out in public.  
  
_ But oh goodness, she really wasn't sure she had _a choice_ anymore...  
  
"Doctor?" she breathed out, barely able to summon the courage.  
  
"What is it, Yaz?"

"I really..." Oh goodness, she wasn't sure she could say it. But if she didn't speak up now, she had no hope. "I...I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold it..." She hated the trembling whimper in her voice, but no part of her was steady anymore. She was shaking all over from the jitters running through her, her bladder was so overstretched that it kept shuddering with tingling convulsions, she could hardly walk without trying to cross her legs or stop to dance in place, her breathing was coming in uneven pants-

She was a wreck, and she couldn't even find the capacity to be ashamed of that because she was too busy concentrating on _not_ _pissing_ _herself_ right where she was.

And _oh good lord_ that thought just sent the urge jabbing to a fresh peak, so sharp and sudden that she gasped and froze, feeling her legs trembling against each other as a spurt escaped her clenched muscles, slowly filling her underwear. It wasn't relieving her at all, but all she wanted in that moment was to let go, to finally lose this burden-

Biting her lip until it bled, she managed to regain control, even if it brought the most pitiful whine from her throat. 

"It's okay, Yaz! I promise, we're almost there!" The Doctor tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she flinched away, letting her own hands rub up and down her thighs as she crossed her legs again.   
  
"N-No, Doctor, I... A little just came out!" Her voice cracked with that admission, and she took another shuddering breath, trying to blink back the warm tears gathering in her eyes. She'd been trying so hard to see this as another mission, telling herself that she'd dealt with worse, that she was strong enough, but the fact was that she was _losing_ this fight. She was in pain and embarrassed, and even though she knew panicking wasn't going to help anything, for once she couldn't be the strong one, the level-headed voice of reason. No, she was _scared,_ and she had no idea what to do. Another spasm wracked her swollen bladder, and her breath hitched, her voice almost begging. "Doctor, it _really_ hurts..."

"I know, I know... I'm _so_ sorry..." The Doctor whispered, her face almost as pained as she felt. "Just another street or two, okay? You can manage that, I know you can."  
  
She really didn't think she could, but she allowed The Doctor to place a guiding hand on her back anyways, slowly nudging her along with shaky steps. The woman was still murmuring in her ear, but she wasn't listening anymore, only having enough awareness to focus on keeping her muscles as tightly clenched as she could, her face flooding with heat. 

Just putting one foot in front of the other was becoming agony. The bulge pressing against her waistband was jiggling and throbbing with every movement, no matter how gingerly she parted her legs, and she could feel the burn of her strain all the way down to her urethra. A constant pulsing need, leaving her muscles spasming again and again.

Grabbing herself wouldn't even help at this point, but she kept thinking about it anyways, the denial of the action nearly making her want to cry. If she could just put _something_  between her legs to block it, just for a few minutes to ease this pain-

Another sharp stab of pain rammed through her then, forcing her to stop so suddenly that The Doctor bumped against her. She didn't even have time to cross her legs or hunch before warmth gushed out of her, soaking through her panties and running along her right thigh for a few seconds.

It took all of her strength to cut off the flow again, her dignity long lost as she danced in place, muttering a mix of prayers and curses to anything in existence. By the time she did, there was a decent dark patch on one side of her jeans, running midway down her thigh, and her abdomen was starting to feel fluttery. Whether it was just the anxiety, or an actual warning, she wasn't sure, but it was almost as uncomfortable as the throbbing that had now reached her privates.

"Come on, Yaz! We have to move, _now!"_  The Doctor urged her, trying to push her along again. She didn't budge, maintaining her firm stance and crossing her legs as tightly as they would go.

"I can't..."

"Sure ya' can! I know you can make it!"

"D-Doctor, I... I _really_  can't..." she whispered, another leak trickling to darken the crotch of her pants further and tease its way down her left leg. As hopeless as the situation was, a stubborn part of her was still trying to fight it, forcing the leaks to stop and start a few times. Oddly enough, the pain in her bladder was actually beginning to numb.

"Yaz, please don't give up! We're _so close,_  look!" The Doctor stepped to the side, pointing towards a small building halfway down the street. "It's going to be alright, I'll get you there! But you have to _move,_  okay?"

_I can't..._

But... she had to _try,_  didn't she? She trusted The Doctor. Not that trust actually mattered when this whole dilemma was based on _her own_  control, but she'd take any glimmer of hope right now.

Blinking back her tears and sniffling, she nodded, and The Doctor took her hands to start creeping along again. Unfortunately, they only made it a couple of steps before she found herself stopping cold, a strange wave of tingling warmth filling her lower stomach until she almost felt sick. And then the next thing she knew, a cramp rolled through her muscles, and suddenly her pants were growing _very_  warm and _very_  wet.

She barely had time to gasp out The Doctor's name before her breath was stolen from her, her lungs huffing to try and keep up with the cramps and exertion her body was going through. Piss was hissing out of her with more force than she'd ever felt, spraying against the inside of the fabric and gushing out to splatter down both of her legs. It was hitting the sidewalk just as loudly, and as she glanced down she found the puddle pooling around her already, the view of her personal waterfall and her own mortified face reflected back up at her from the metallic ground. That made everything worse, and as she became aware of the horrified muttering from citizens nearby, she had to shut her eyes, clasping a hand over her mouth to try and muffle the moans trying to escape.

It wouldn't stop. No matter how badly she willed it to, liquid kept cascading down her legs, warmth flowing back to caress her ass in a way that _really_ _shouldn_ _'t_  have felt as pleasant as it did. Despite the relief of feeling her bladder emptying nearly making her head spin, it was still horrific. She'd never done this as a child, so why was it happening _now,_ when she was _a grown woman?_

By the time her accident finally petered out, the last few drops splashing into the mess below her, she was entirely soaked and leaning against The Doctor for support, her breath hitching. The confused and disgusted conversations from the onlookers were growing louder, and the words she could catch only sent a fresh wave of hot shame through her to mix with the shock, leaving her paralyzed as her brain fought to think.

She had to do _something,_  but she was coming up blank. Every instance of crisis training had flown the coop, leaving her with nothing but mounting panic.

"Okay, quick, get in there!" Without waiting for an answer, The Doctor started shoving her towards the single restroom building until they were almost running, locking the door as soon as they'd both stumbled inside. Her legs were shaking so badly they were barely holding her up, and she found herself falling backwards to sit on the toilet seat. The universe was clearly trying to rub salt in the wound, and she couldn't bring herself to look anywhere but the floor, her vision blurring with tears again.  
  
"I'm _so sorry._ I didn't mean- I tried, b-but-" She couldn't find the words to sum up every emotion she was feeling, to even really _process_ what had just happened, and before she could say anything else her breath was hitching again, those tears beginning to slip down her face.  
  
"Oh, Yaz... _please_ don't cry..."  
  
"Sorry..." It was the only word she was capable of whimpering, apparently, and she hated herself for it. She didn't _want_ to _cry_ like this, to crumble, but mind over matter didn't seem to be enough right now. She was crying whether she liked it or not, even if it only made the humiliation sting more as she ran her hands through her hair. _  
  
_"I'm sorry... I should've asked earlier..." _  
_  
"I'm not upset with you, Yaz." The Doctor murmured, crouching down to try and look her in the eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong, it wasn't your fault."  
  
"This was supposed to be your day off though..." she whispered, letting her arms drop so that she could cross them over her chest and hug them close. "And instead I've caused you a bunch of trouble and dragged you away for nothing, because I... I didn't even..." If she'd just been able to make it the last few feet, at least then this entire walk would have been _worth it._ She might as well have avoided bothering The Doctor at all, if she'd been doomed to wet herself either way.  
  
"Yaz, trust me, I'm _never_ going to take a day off. I love trouble! Well, er, not _this trouble_ in particular, but..." The Doctor fell silent for a moment, debating her words. "Listen, don't go thinking you've ruined my day or anything, because this really wasn't _my_ day to begin with. It was my friend's. But actually, it wasn't entirely for them either. I came to the party today because I wanted _you_ to experience it." she admitted softly. "Now, in hindsight, I didn't exactly plan it well. But _besides this part,_ as long as you enjoyed the rest, I'd be content."  
  
She finally forced herself to meet The Doctor's gaze, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She'd really come to this event to share it _with her?_ She wasn't just a tag-along, but the _reason_ The Doctor had come? That was touching enough to bring a hint of a smile back to her lips.  
  
"I... I did enjoy the carriage ride. And the guests was interesting." she murmured.   
  
"See, there you go. Try and focus on the positives, those are the memories that matter! If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't waste your time dwelling on what you could have done differently. If something's happened, it's happened, and that's just kind of the way it is. Better to just move on, put it behind you."  
  
That was good advice, she supposed, but she couldn't resist teasing her, just a little bit. "Okay, but you do _literally_ have the option of _time travel."_ she pointed out, raising her eyebrows. "You can actually _go back_ and make something _not_ happen." _  
  
_"No, that's not- I mean, okay, _yeah,_ I _could,_ but-" The Doctor sputtered, waving her hands in pointless motions as she tried to drum up a proper counterpoint. "You're derailing my comforting speech, you know! I was really on a roll there!"  
  
"I know."  
  
"Time travel's _way more_ complicated than that! It's _very delicate_ , I can't just change every bad thing that happens, even the minor stuff!"  
  
"I _know,_ Doctor!" she couldn't help chuckling, rolling her eyes. "It's fine, I'll live." The Doctor really had comforted her, in her own awkward way. However, as she moved to stand up, she couldn't help grimacing at the feeling of soggy fabric clinging to her legs like shrink-wrap, fresh liquid flowing down from the creases to drip onto the floor. Right. The emotional damage might have been soothed, at least for now, but there was still the much more obvious physical aspect to deal with. "I... don't suppose we could borrow clothes from anyone around here?" she muttered dryly. Of all the places to drench her pants, it had to be in the one place where neckwear was the only accessory.   
  
"Ooh... yeah, that's pretty bad..." The Doctor cringed. Furrowing her brows and running one hand through her hair, she studied her for a minute. "Hang on, just hold still. Let me try something." Fumbling though her pockets, she pulled out her Sonic, looking it over. "Usually I only use the heat settings to laser through metal, but maybe I can adjust it to target particles more gently, or at least warm up the air around them..." _  
  
_"Well, I guess if it goes wrong, at least you'll save me money on lasering my legs."  
  
 _"Ha-Ha._ Don't worry, Yaz, I know what I'm doing. I'd never hurt you."  
  
"I know you wouldn't." She held still as The Doctor finished messing with her gadget and began pointing the golden tip at her.  
  
"I don't want to amplify the radiation too much, so I'm going to have to get a bit cozy with you." The woman chuckled, crouching down so that her eyes were at waist-level. "Tell me if it gets too hot." And with that, The Doctor switched the Sonic on, a low buzz filling the air between them as she began guiding the wand up and down, keeping it a mere few inches away from actually touching her.   
  
It really wasn't unpleasant. A bit like a blow-dryer's heat, just a little less intense as it circled around, slowly evaporating the liquid. The Doctor was meticulous, gently murmuring for her to turn around once the front was completely dry. Alright, so this interaction was _definitely_ a little weird, standing in awkwardly-intimate silence while her friend waved a magic wand to dry her ass, but _to be fair,_ what part of interacting with the Timelord was ever _not-weird._ It was the new normal, really. And if it was between this or slinking out in shame for everyone on the street to see, she'd take this solution.  
 _  
_"There..." The Doctor finally spoke up again, switching off the device and glancing up at her. "Did I get everything? Nothing's singed?"  
  
"Everything's fine, Doctor." she chuckled, offering a hand to pull the woman out of her crouch. "Thank you. For everything, not just this."  
  
"Anytime, Yaz! That's what friends are for, right?" Despite the grin, the blonde's eyes still held a shadow of worry. "So, um, how are you feeling? Do you want to try going back to the party, or just head for the TARDIS? Whatever you want to do is fine, I really don't mind."  
  
"Um..." Honestly, she _was_ tired. But she was also still curious about the things The Doctor had been eager to show her. "I _would_ like to meet that friend of yours... and we did promise the boys we'd snag some cake."  
  
"Oh, they actually aren't serving cake there. It's more of a soup, really."  
  
"A soup?"  
  
"Yeah, brothy with little chunks in it, served hot. But it _tastes_ like dessert."  
  
Oh, _that_ was going to be an interesting experience then. "Don't tell Ryan. I wanna see his face when he takes the first sip."  
  
"Fine. So, back to the palace then?" The Doctor started to reach for the door, but she placed a hand on her shoulder to pause her for a second.  
  
"Yeah... but... what about the crowd out there? They seemed pretty upset."  
  
"Oh, don't worry about them, I'll take the wrap for it. Can't be any worse than the time I got arrested overnight."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Oh, I won't spoil it. That'll be the first story out of Churwagjhlsnop's mouths, it's their favourite icebreaker. Seems like a fair trade, actually. You get to hear an embarrassing story about me, so that makes up for things, right?"  
  
"You don't really have to make up for anything, but yeah. I'm looking forward to it."  
  
"It stays between us. No telling the boys."  
  
"Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> The Sonic is the ultimate Cheap Plot Device and I'm grateful the show made it so versatile lmao
> 
> Also this totally wasn't a date but like, this was also _kind of_ a date. Literal pegasus chariot ride is romantic fantasy material and ngl I almost wanted to cut half of this fic so that I could recycle it into a fluffy party date but I'd already written 90% of the draft c':
> 
> Thank you if you actually read this, feel free to leave a comment or kudos! I'll have more legit fics on the way soon!


End file.
